The Parent-Teacher Dream Team: Let’s Get on the Same Page, People

Parents and teachers collaborating in a nurturing classroom environment to support the children’s learning and development.

By Erica Saccoccio | The Childcare Director’s Chair

Alright, let’s get real for a second: if you’re a childcare director, you’ve probably seen it all. Kids acting out, parents feeling frustrated, teachers at their wits’ end trying to figure out how to handle it all. But what if I told you that the secret to managing challenging behavior isn’t just about what’s happening in the classroom? It’s about creating a dream team between parents and teachers—and no, I’m not talking about a group of people sitting in meetings and agreeing on everything. I’m talking about a team that’s in sync, that communicates effectively, and that works hand-in-hand to tackle behavior challenges from all angles. And guess who’s the captain of this team? You, the director.

When parents and teachers aren’t on the same page? Oh boy. That’s when behavior struggles really get tricky. One adult thinks the other is “too strict” or “not consistent enough,” and the poor child is left confused and frustrated. But when you foster real, open, and honest partnerships between parents and your teaching team? That’s when the magic happens. The child feels supported in both environments, and behavior starts to improve—without all the extra stress.

So, how do you make this happen? Well, buckle up because I’m about to drop some wisdom that’ll change the way you approach parent-teacher relationships.

You’ve got one shot to make a first impression—and let me tell you, it’s not just about getting paperwork filled out. Building trust and creating an open communication channel should start before they even walk in the door. Encourage your teachers to start conversations that are way more than just “What time do you pick up?” or “Does your child have any allergies?” Try, “What’s your child’s favorite way to calm down when they’re upset?” or “What makes them feel safe and secure?” You want parents to see that you’re invested in their child’s emotional wellbeing, not just their ability to follow the rules.

Next, set the stage for communication expectations. Let parents know that this isn’t a “one-and-done” kind of deal. Regular updates? Absolutely. Whether it’s a weekly email or a quick in-person check-in, ensure that everyone is on the same page. And I can’t stress this enough—train your team to use strength-based, positive language. Instead of, “She throws tantrums all the time,” try, “She’s working on finding new ways to express her frustration.” This simple shift can make a world of difference in how parents receive your feedback—and make them feel like part of the team, not just a bystander.

Once you’ve got that foundation in place, it’s time to focus on building real partnerships with families. No one likes being talked at; people want to feel heard. Instead of assuming you know what works for a child, ask the parents. Get their input: “What’s worked at home when they’re upset?” or “What do you notice helps them stay calm?” This isn’t just about gathering data; it’s about showing respect for the parent’s role in the child’s life. Plus, when parents feel heard, they’re way more likely to invest in the partnership.

And don’t forget about creating shared language. If your classroom uses calming strategies like deep breathing or visual aids, share those with parents so they can reinforce the same strategies at home. Consistency is key—kids thrive when they know what to expect. And always, always validate their experience. When you say things like, “You’re the expert on your child,” you’re not just building a connection, you’re building trust. Trust that leads to teamwork, and teamwork leads to progress.

Now, let’s talk about feedback. It’s critical that feedback isn’t one-sided, and it can’t only happen when something goes wrong. Create systems for both informal and formal updates. Maybe it’s a quick weekly email with highlights, a friendly check-in during drop-off, or a structured quarterly review. Whatever you do, make it a routine. Be specific with your feedback, too. Instead of just saying, “He’s improving,” try, “He went the entire day without hitting, which is a huge win!” The more specific you get, the more empowered parents feel to reinforce the same strategies at home. And, just as importantly, make sure the feedback loop goes both ways. Ask parents for their observations too. “Have you noticed any changes at home?” or “What’s working well for you lately?” That way, you’re treating them as equal partners in the process.

Now, let’s get into behavior plans. Too often, these are created in isolation and left to collect dust. But you know that’s not going to work. Behavior plans need to be a collaborative effort. If your team is coming up with a plan for a child and it’s only discussed behind closed doors, it’s destined to fail. Behavior support needs to be consistent across both environments. So, from the beginning, get the parents involved. Set clear, manageable goals like, “We’re both working to help him express frustration in words rather than with aggression. What’s been working at home?” Then, align the tools you’re using in the classroom, like emotion cards or sensory kits, with those used at home. When the child sees and hears the same strategies in both places, progress happens faster. And don’t just set it and forget it—check in on the plan regularly. Schedule periodic reviews with both your teachers and parents to see what’s working, what’s changed, and what needs tweaking. A behavior plan is only effective if it evolves with the child.

At the end of the day, your leadership sets the tone for how relationships are built and maintained. When you foster strong, respectful communication between teachers and parents, everyone benefits. Children feel supported. Teachers feel empowered. Families feel heard. And your center becomes a place where challenges don’t create chaos—they create collaboration.

So, if this episode spoke to you, it’s time to take action. Grab our free Dream Team Toolkit—it’s packed with communication scripts, behavior plan templates, and shared language guides you can use right away. And don’t forget to tune in to The Childcare Director’s Chair podcast for more tips, leadership strategies, and all-around good vibes. Because when the adults get on the same page, the kids win. Every. Single. Time.